Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Dream #2: GWAA of Arabia

I’m not kidding. I had this dream.
The other night I dreamt I was in the desert tent of a Middle Eastern Sheik. We were having an intense but polite discussion the subject of which I can’t recall. But I remember feeling like it was really important. Almost like a negotiation. So I was trying really hard to respect his customs and not insult him.

I was sitting in a chair and the Sheik was sitting on a cushion that was laying on a rug. At some point his cushion sunk about 6 inches. The sand beneath the rug had developed a sinkhole. I helped him up and a he told me that this sort of thing happens a lot in the desert and not to worry.

As he talked, he walked to the other side of the rug and instantly sank straight down into the sand up to his shoulders. I quickly grabbed his hand and managed to pull him out before he was swallowed up in the quicksand sinkhole. At this point we both became concerned but before we could do anything the whole rug we were standing on sunk into the sand. I was able to grab onto something to keep from being buried but the poor Sheik tumbled into the hole and a large couch or bed that was on the rug fell on top of him.

I jumped down into the hole to rescue him, all the while screaming to his men to come and help. Before they arrived I did discover the Sheik all tangled up in his robes and the rug. I couldn’t see his face so I didn’t know if he was alive. In trying to figure out where his head was I accidentally uncovered his butt. Realizing that this would be a grave insult worthy of death if his men discovered me looking at their leader’s privates, I quickly covered him up and began looking at the other end of the lump that was the Sheik.

His men arrived and pulled the unconscious Sheik and myself from the hole. At this point I realized that the sinkhole was really a cave-in of a tunnel that some mercenaries had dug underneath the Sheik’s tent. You see apparently the Sheik kept his treasure buried in the sand beneath his tent.

Somehow I instinctively knew that the culprits were American. I suspected they were government sanctioned and I was certain that they were backed by big money forces who wanted the Sheik’s gold. The dream ended as I rode along side the Sheik’s horsemen following a sunken trail in the sand to find the thieves and bring them to justice. I just remember feeling that if they found out that they were American I’d probably be dead by association. That’s when I woke up

So anyway last night I told Michael my dream.
“Don’t you see,” I said waving my arms in the air dramatically, “I think I represent the American people who want to make peace with the Sheik. But there are people in America who want the treasure the Sheik has. Which... well, that would have to be like oil, you know, since it was buried in the sand. And the theives would have to be the government and the oil companies. So these undermining mercenary, or military or whatever guys are literally pulling the rug from under peace talks by trying to steal oil from the Middle Eastern people. This is like a dream EPIPHANY, honey! I feel like I’ve been given a REVELATION!!!”

“You have the weirdest dreams.” Michael said dryly, “but do you think when you go to sleep tonight you could have a dream revelation about something we don't ALREADY KNOW?”

Yeah, well we can’t all be Nostra-friggin’-damus, can we?


81 Vaginas said...

and the war goes on.

Brookelina said...

LOL! Classic. I had a dream I was on a cruise and somehow wound up making out with Smith from Sex and the City. I was so pissed when my alarm went off before things got really interesting!

gone said...

I like Michael's response. I can be similarly insensitive in the morning. And funny!

gone said...

Wow! I think dreams are very important and can be very eye-opening. What you told Michael was so cute. I believe God was giving you insight. I don't know what you can do with it, but I'm sure your clever little brain will think of something.


Girl With An Alibi said...

I tend to recount my dreams very dramatically with mock seriousness at times. Which usually inspires Michael to respond with mock seriousness and a sarcastic dry wit. Which in turn makes me laugh hysterically.

Except for the dream where I crawled through a mysterious trap door in our ceiling and was swept into an alternate reality where I was the leader of a ragtag band of human survivors in a war against bloodthirsty carnivorous Wookies, and my men kept refering to me as "Fearless Leader." That one pretty much threw him for a loop.

Truecraig said...

Man, I would be UP-SET if my dreams got ruined by politics. Lucky for me, it's all flying and nudity, all night long.

So, so good.