Inspired by Unseen Bloggers “Foul Mood” Rant.

5 Things That Annoyed Me This Week…

My Local Organic Market: They are selling Escolar without warning people of the side effects. Escolar if you are not familiar with it, is a Fat Free fish with a mouthwatering delectable taste and an almost buttery consistency. It owes this addictive flavor and fat free status to a natural, non-toxic oil which cannot be digested by the human body. The result is that your body expels it. How? Well let’s just say if you look it up on the internet you’ll learn that Escolar’s nickname is the “Exlax Fish.” But it should really be called “there’s-oil-leaking-from-my ass fish.” I KNOW they had to know about this. Cause apparently it wasn't available for a while for precisely this effect - people thought it was dangerous (but it won't kill you -- unless you die of embarrassment from smelly oily/crap stains on seat of your pants -- oh yes- it happened to me.) Seriously they are supposed be a health-conscious business. Now I know why the guy at the meat counter was evasive about the fish when I asked him how it tasted.

A Co-Worker Who’s Turning Into a P.I.T.A.: I like the guy I really do. But he just got promoted and he decided to implement new procedures which are actually really good procedures. What annoyed me was he didn’t tell anyone his new procedures. So apparently I’ve been breaking them left and right. So he sends a mass email (clearly directed at me) establishing the new procedures. I kind of took it personally. I think if you’ve got a problem and you’ve established new policies because somebody (like me) is messing things up; go to that person and discuss how you are going to make those changes and then let everyone know. Be a man and don’t hide behind an email. Because frankly doing things his way is gonna make my job harder (though I still think the procedures are sensible overall) which means I’m going to demand a lot more from him since one of the folks he’s there to support is ME. (That was very non-specific I know but I just needed to get it out.)

My Wedding Planner: Last week I called and left him a frantic message because I still hadn’t nailed down a reception space and invitations go out on this coming Monday. All the places he gave me to check out were not available. I wanted him to get me a list of AVAILABLE places to look at. That was last Thursday. Because I’m too anal to wait for a reply I continued to call on my own and by Monday I secured a place. On TUESDAY afternoon he called me to say he was preparing a list of possibilities that he was going to check into (in other words, no he didn’t a call to check availability.) He said his phone was out so he didn’t get my message for a few days. Whatever. Fortunately for him he’s a master of floral arrangements so I’ll give him a second chance. Though he still hasn’t responded to the email I sent yesterday asking other questions.

Another Co-Worker: Again I really like this guy. A real sweetheart, he’s in my department. Now in our department (advertising) there’s the production folks (i.e. graphic artists) and the copywriter (me.) This co-worker is responsible for the production folks. So Tuesday he comes into my office and says, “hey, I’m taking my guys out for an extended lunch.” Now I immediately expect him to say “do you want to come along?” cause otherwise that would mean I’m the ONLY person in the department not going. I even started to reach for my purse. But then he says, “if anyone’s looking for us can you let ‘em know where we are?”

Oh, so let me get this straight! Not only am I not invited, but I get to be your personal secretary while you’re gone too – gee thanks. Maybe I was planning to take my guy (me that is) out for an extended lunch! Ever think of that?! HUH?!! I pretended like it was all cool (I did bring some 3-day old chicken salad so I could get by on that.). But the worst part was that someone from outside our department noticed that I was the only one that didn’t go. I didn’t think fast enough with a lie so I just said “it was just the production group.” “So, isn’t that everyone except you?” she replied. Yup. That about sums it up.

Michael: Yup that’s right the love of my life, kinda pissed me off. And it’s weird that I’m mad about this, because it’s the direct result of one of the big reasons I love him so much. Michael has a huge heart. I mean just gigantic. He wants to help everyone. And he is unbelievably forgiving. Astoundingly so. About 9 months ago he hired this Mexican dude named Victor to help him tame the wilderness that is our backyard. For the first few months everything was great. Victor worked hard the yard looked great. Michael rewarded him generously paid him $20/hour cash, bought him new shoes, gave him a bunch of clothes and some of his extra tools. One night while Michael was in the garage, I was looking out the kitchen window and I see Victor and another guy run from behind our garage into the darkness down the road. I go outside as Michael emerges from the garage. “Wasn’t that Victor?” I ask. Michael has no idea what I’m talking about. I tell him what I saw and he grabs a flash light and runs up the road just in time to see Victor’s car backing down the hill in the dark with the lights off. The next day he asks Victor about it and the guy flat out lies and swears he wasn’t there. To top it off Michael’s brand new table saw was missing. (Note: Our house is the last one at the end of a dead end road at the top of hill. No street lights. No way they were coming from anywhere but our house. Besides what are the odds of another person of the same height and build wearing Victor’s black and red sweatshirt and driving his car just happening to be running from behind our house.) Yeah I must have been imagining it, sure that’s it.

Over my objections Michael let him work for another whole month. Finally, he stopped. While Michael was in Hawaii Victor came around like once a week even though I told him repeatedly that Michael didn’t need any help. (I didn’t say Michael was out of town, only that he was working. It made me nervous that he kept showing up when I told him not to; so I didn’t want him to know I was home alone or that the house was empty all day.) Well last week Victor was back from Thursday to Saturday (at $10/hr this time). But Michael promised me it was only for 3 days. Well guess what! Victor was back again this week. I DO NOT trust this guy. I don’t like being lied to. I don’t like that he brought a friend to snoop around our house and possibly steal. I don’t like that he just shows up and starts working on our yard even before we are awake as a way of pressuring Michael into letting him work. And while I didn’t see him take anything I don’t like that he left on Friday with the keys to our shed. I love my man but he is way too forgiving. I can forgive Victor too but that doesn’t mean I want to put our home or safety at risk. Plus, Michael’s been taken advantage of by others and I don’t want that happening again. I know he doesn't like being mean and saying no, but I just want him to stop being so NICE!!!


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Well I feel better now that I vented. Have nice weekend ya'll! And remember... say no to Escolar - unless you're constipated in which case, go for it.