Saturday, July 30, 2005

Flash Fiction #1

Here's my Flash Fiction entry... (thanks to Jacob for the tip) Mine is a short story in poem form. (I hope that doesn't break the rules. ;) I was trying to do something a bit different. So here it is.

The Goddess

Of course, hindsight is 20/20,
But in reflection not having any money
Dan could not have kept her anyway.

His mother always told him that a man
Should love a woman as fully as he can
Silly boy he took her at her word.

Rita’s hair was dark but captured light
And he believed that sometimes in the night
Its silken strands could hold back the day.

Her eyes were pearls of amber fire
What she wished, he could not deny her
Such recklessness he could ill afford.

She was lonely and he made it easy
But in her heart she felt a little sleazy
And tried to tell him she didn’t feel “that way.”

He said “just friends” was all he wanted
But she could see his eyes were haunted.
And such a fierce desire caused discord.

She begged and begged him not to love her
But for his obsession his occupation suffered
And soon he’d lost his only source of pay.

As she watched his world begin to crumble
She knew she’d caused a noble man to stumble
She withdrew, though against it he implored

As devoted as he was, her heart was silent
In the end rejection made him violent
And his treasure soon became his prey

They found her lovely body sad and broken
With a sparkling lock of hair shorn off as token
And flowers at her feet as one adored.

18 comments:

gone said...

Well done! I'm very impressed gwa.
dark and very good.

Brookelina said...

Wow, that was amazing. I'm impressed too. You are so on my blogroll now.

Evil Petting Zoo said...

very cool...i never even gave poetry a thought. good job.

Melliferous Pants said...

Nice, I like that you went with a poem.

Sara said...

Me likey

Zaira said...

nice! did you make it yourself?

gone said...

So true, how a good thing can go bad...almost for no reason.

JJ said...

That was interesting, I never really thought about a poem for FFF. Good work. Maybe from now on I'll specify the metre, etc.

Princess Steph said...

once again this is a stunning post my dear... well done.

Girl With An Alibi said...

Thanks everyone for the great comments. It's only loosely based on reality. (Cause, like I'm still alive and all.) Hey, it's tough being worshipped like that, ya know. But feel free to adore me from a distance. LOL
;)

Girl With An Alibi said...

By the way. Make sure you all check out the other Flash Fiction Stories. They are fantastic. I just love the endless well of talent in the blogosphere. Just dunk your bucket and suddenly it's over flowin' with incredible writers. Thanks again to JJ for thinking this up.

The Moviequill said...

I return the favour my dear, very nicely done

Matt said...

This is terrific, it's like a dark and tragic old folk song, of the Appalachian variety. Nice/Nice.

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