This is over 10 years old. I think perhaps it is one of my better efforts. Too bad the inspiration for it had to the shittiest thing I've ever done.
THE HISTORY OF A CRIME
Regardless of what I may do in my dreams,
I cannot change what has been.
Although I may say:
"If I could start over"
I am fully aware that the sands have run out.
It is a painful thing to bear the words
"If it were I"
Again and again once the hour is gone.
Yet I understand the judgment and acknowledge it as
RIGHT AND TRUE(amen)
For I have explored the alternate universes of
"If I had only"
As one explores the points on a bed of nails.
So here I lay the burden at the feet of God:
to be judged by Him alone.
to be judged alone.
the blood of my enemies still warm in their veins
(who knew He would be so thrifty with His vengeance)
To share with you the history of a crime
Is to put my trust in you.
But I see now I cannot expect you to be without question.
I cannot expect your faith to go unshaken,
Nor your respect to stand as tall.
It would not be fair to ask you for such things.
(but wouldn't it be wonderful)
Perhaps I can never help you understand.
But know this:
What was too great for my hands
Now rests beneath the heel of God
And I have neither desire nor power
To bring it hence again.
To hold the knowledge from you feels like a lie.
So I offer my apologies for this poor excuse for an act of faith.
But I have seen even the strongest swimmer test the calmest sea,
Before diving into the water.