Wednesday, July 27, 2005

A Poem

This is over 10 years old. I think perhaps it is one of my better efforts. Too bad the inspiration for it had to the shittiest thing I've ever done.

THE HISTORY OF A CRIME


confession
Regardless of what I may do in my dreams,
I cannot change what has been.
Although I may say:
"If I could start over"
I am fully aware that the sands have run out.

It is a painful thing to bear the words
"If it were I"
Again and again once the hour is gone.
Yet I understand the judgment and acknowledge it as
RIGHT AND TRUE(amen)
For I have explored the alternate universes of
"If I had only"
As one explores the points on a bed of nails.

history
So here I lay the burden at the feet of God:
to be judged by Him alone.
to be judged alone.
the blood of my enemies still warm in their veins
(who knew He would be so thrifty with His vengeance)

To share with you the history of a crime
Is to put my trust in you.
But I see now I cannot expect you to be without question.
I cannot expect your faith to go unshaken,
Nor your respect to stand as tall.
It would not be fair to ask you for such things.
(but wouldn't it be wonderful)

Perhaps I can never help you understand.
But know this:
What was too great for my hands
Now rests beneath the heel of God
And I have neither desire nor power
To bring it hence again.
To hold the knowledge from you feels like a lie.
So I offer my apologies for this poor excuse for an act of faith.
But I have seen even the strongest swimmer test the calmest sea,
Before diving into the water.

5 comments:

loren said...

Hi girl with an alibi,

Wow, this was some post. May I venture to say it? I don't think you really needed to tell us about your crime, because I think every reader is going to put themselves in your shoes, and fill in the blank with their own crime. In a funny way, silence makes the identification complete. But giving us the specifics would actually keep some of us from relating.

Also, once you take it to the Lord, He erases it from His memory - which is as close as anyone will come to saying, 'it never happened.'

"This is the covenant that I will make with them after those days, says the Lord: I will put My laws into their hearts, and in their minds I will write them," then He adds, "Their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more."
(Heb 10:16-17)

Well done!

gone said...

I'm not going to say much except that I'm impressed. It was certainly a great effort. I like it quite a bit. More, please.

Princess Steph said...

a agree with loren but I still kind of want to know.. :)

no, no- kidding. he was spot-on when he said that the reader can adapt your work to her or his situation.

very well done indeed.

Girl With An Alibi said...

Thanks everyone for the positive comments. I've been told before that I owe no one an explanation. And I do believe I've been forgiven by God. God is easy, me on the otherhand, I'm a hardass and there's a very small part of me that hasn't forgiven myself totally. It's amazing how we can be so mean to ourselves.

gone said...

I loved it, I wish you would post more poetry. Good for you for putting it up there. It's amazing how things we regret in life bring out some of the greatest cries for forgiveness.