Jacob Interviews Me

I'm just cut'n & paste'n...
This could be considered a meme of sorts, but you need to invite yourself to the party. Here are the instructions:
1. If you want to participate, leave a comment below saying "Interview me." "Blow me" or "Eat me" are not acceptable substitutes.
2. I will respond by asking you five questions - each person's will be different. I'll post the questions in the comments section of this post.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.Got it? You have to ASK to be interviewed, and I promise I will try and be clever.

(I'm only gonna promise to interview the first 3 people as I don't know if I have Jacob's energy to interview everyone who asks.)

Anyways here are my answers....

1. You are travelling for a day trip, north to LA or south to Mexico? L.A. no question! In fact I am doing that tomorrow (which is kinda creepy that you asked that question, actually... jacob? psychic?). All my friends are there. Better restaurants. And if I want to shop for cheap goods, there's always Santee Alley in the Garment District (which is part of the reason I'm going... the other part being my darling Godson's 1st birthday.)

2. What is more embarrasing for a new boyfriend (hypothetically speaking) to see...baby pictures or your underwear drawer? Nothing especially embarrasing about my underwear (ceptin' maybe that pink thong I just bought that says "hot cocoa" and that's only embarrassing cause it's the only remotely sexy thing in there..) so I guess baby pictures. There's one pic of me after I attempted to eat a jar of my mom's face cream. I'd just woken up from a nap so my hair is like Phil Spector-scary and my mom caught me. She yelled and gave me a swat on the bottom. But because I looked so funny she took a picture. Way To Go, Mom!

3. Beach or swimming pool? Depends. Right now its beach cause I don't have an option. But if I had a pool and it was heated and it had one of those cool disappearing edges and some kick ass landscaping with like a waterfall that had a hidden swim up bar in a man-made cave behind it, and a jacuzzi that was just steps away from a polished teak and brass outdoor shower and we had a massive stainless steel grill with a mini cooler for the steaks and beers next to it, And we had like tree house palapas with a hammock overlooking it where we could invite our friends to climb up for drinks and jenga... then DEFINTELY POOL. (Did I mention we have subscriptions to like TWELVE different home improvement/design magazines?)

4. Tell us, what do you REALLY believe? I really believe that one of the single most important spiritual lessons you can teach your child is how to properly tilt his or her head back in order to receive a mouthful of Readi-Whip Whipped Cream. Everything else is secondary. (btw: that's the secret test St. Peter gives you to get through the Pearly Gates you know. If you over fill and "foam" at the mouth you're in Purgatory for at least 1000 years. And if you air blast it and get nothing it's straight to the firey furnace for you!)

5. You say you are figuring it out as you go...what have you figured out thus far? I have figured out that I cannot eat junk food all day and expect to feel good. I discovered that lack of sleep is a drag. I now know that people who watch "24" from week to week are masochists (I've been renting the full seasons from Blockbuster and I'm obsessed I'd kill somebody if I had to wait 7 days to see what happens next). Also I am looking for opportunities to use new vocabulary ("craptacular", "freshly-fucked-hair","bumpernuts" and "HNT") that I've gleaned from other blogs. Besides that I have figured out that there are a lot of smart people out there with really interesting thoughts some of which I agree with and some which I don't ... and oddly enough I am one of those people (except for that I always agree with myself.... NO I DON'T!!!.... YES I DO!!!)