Thursday, April 21, 2005

I Am So Shallow

I’ve been in a bad mood all day. We missed our appointment at church again. So that means I’ve been late every day this week. I know everybody thinks I’m slacking off. I hate that. Plus I realized that Saturday’s vanity visit to the laser hair removal center is having an ugly side effect. Three ugly burns on my bikini line. They say it’s normal and it will fade but it looks horrible. I can’t believe I spent money on this. I am such an ass. I keep telling myself that putting an end to painful ingrown hairs is worth the suffering. But I’m wavering now because I look like I a sat in a hot oiled frying pan.

Mostly I’m realizing what a vain jerk I’ve become. Less than a year ago we could barely make house payments and our credit was circling the drain. Now we get a little bit of money (and I do mean “little”) and we are both acting like we hit the jackpot. Before we know it we are going to be broke again. At least Michael is buying stuff for the house (stuff we don’t need, but for the house at least) unlike selfish me who buys stuff mostly for me. Sure I spend money on clothes for him and vet bill for the cats, but the majority of the money I’ve been wasting is for shoes and clothes and vanity crap for me.

I can hardly stand myself. And then there are people in the world who are really struggling to hold it together while I, the self absorbed profligate, bemoan the fact that he still hasn’t picked out an engagement ring even though we’ve been legally married for almost a year. Truth is I get embarrassed not having a nifty rock to show to my friends. How selfish. How stupid. I need to take a long hard look at my priorities and do a little shifting.


Sara said...

Girl, don't feel bad on my account. The fact is that we are all vain and a little loose with money sometimes. It's the spice of life as far as I am concerned. It wasn't that long ago that we got our tax return and was spending money left and right. Had we been smart enough to forsee this shitty mess, we probably would have cooled it but oh well, live and learn. Can't change it now.
When I first started my blog, I was ranting about something kind of trivial and a guy posted on my comments who had it much worse than me but was keeping a positive attitude. It made me think. My theory is that's how God keeps us humble.

Sara said...

In fact, lol, I just remembered, the day we found out Chanse was laid off, we had just left the salon after him getting a massage and me getting a pedicure for Valentine's Day. You just never know when things are gonna take a turn on you.
But thanks for thinking of me. :)
sista from anotha mista

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