I run away from the screaming.
The chanting throbbing mob.
It was only a question.
A simple question.
Not a test, or a challenge, or a call to arms.
Just a question.
Father, are you home?
They come down like stones
An avalanche of opinion
An inquisition, a trial, a demand for obedience
So I run from the voices.
Those who insist on eyes always forward.
I am looking everywhere
But I still cannot focus.
To the left, to the right, above and below
Why must it be so hard?
To go back to where you started
Let me lie down in a field
Wide open spaces under a sky
Let my mind find quiet, let my heart want nothing
Let the question rest at my fingertips
Father, are you home?
May the sky open up
May the stars shine in daylight
May the warm wind descend upon me with His answer.
5 comments:
Hi Girl with an alibi,
I read some of your articles, and I can't quite decide where to 'place' you. So please forgive me for asking. But would you consider yourself a Christian, or would you think it more accurate to say that you are a 'seeker', or how might you describe yourself?
The reason I ask is because I recently did a series of short postings on my blog about how God talks to 'seekers'. Some of the things you wrote seemed to match with that. Anyway, if you'd like to see the articles, here's a link you can follow:
http://www.pold.blogspot.com/2005/05/links-for-pre-evangelism-module.html
Hope you find this interesting, shocking, and helpful! Maybe Father is very close to home after all.
Loren, that is an excellent question. I am a Christian because I was raised one. But probably the word "seeker" is closer to my soul. I think that describes my approach to Christianity. It should be a seeker's religion although it never seems to play out that way in the world as we know it. Of course it would be wonderful if all religions were "seeker" oriented. I love the challenge of discovering more of the mystery of God. But I have to say that the answers "organized religion" seems to want to cram down everyone's throats do tend to choke me.
I am a Christian Seeker would be my answer. I believe that God is bigger than anything we would label as religion, reality or even truth. I believe Christ knew that and was trying to tell us that. I want to understand at least a glimmer of that God. That is what I'm seeking.
I will definitely stop by your blog soon.
Jacob-
thanks for the link. I haven't done one of those in years.
Hi girl with an alibi,
Let me see what you think of this. Jesus told us "I am the way the TRUTH and the life" (John 14:6). He didn't just tell us the truth, He is the truth. But what does that mean?
I think it means that everything we regard as true, is ultimately true because it closely matches who He is and His way of thinking. In other words, 'religion' as a system of beliefs or even a way of life entirely misses the point. Knowing Jesus as you would know another person, and getting close to Him, is really what He has in mind.
As I see it, that's how we know the truth - by knowing Him. Have a nice evening.
Loren- I'm working on a post that might answer your question. Stay tuned.
Jacob- Yes I think the avalanche is all those things. Which to be quite honest I deliberately seek out by asking so many questions. You'd think that my questions mean I want difinitive answers, but what I really want is to find the path that lets me discover those answers.
But what makes the opinions so crippling is that they're often given with such a sense of finality and ultimatum. As if the opinions themselves are ultimate truth and I am damned as a heretic, (or perhaps to be pitied for my pathetic faithlessness) because I dare to continue questioning.
It's like when something aweful happens and you have to try to explain it to a small child. You can't really. All you can do is hold them close and make them feel loved and safe. I guess I don't want everyone to TELL ME... "just read the bible and live by it literally word for word..." They want me to just believe every word out of the pulpit and don't bother with all that nasty nagging feeling that God has a secret He wants to share with you if you would stop miring yourself in theology and biblical semantics.
Good heavens... I'm rambling. Maybe my next post will help.
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